Using a vision from the past to come to understanding

When I held you in my arms I felt as though I was teaching you to fly; responsible if you fell and overwhelmed with joy if you flew. When my hand was on your shoulder I recalled all that I had taught you; every way which you had seen me live and manner of your being which I had instilled in you. When your face turned up toward mine I sensed every ounce of love I had poured out into your life. I knew that no trial was in vain. I saw my love in you and it flooded my soul with joy. With a single embrace we recounted the years, though not many, we spent clinging to each other. Nothing would take me away from you. Nothing would separate our hearts. The world will show you how to resist, but you will always remember.

Nothing can be taken from me which is of value to me. My hope is in Christ alone. I seek first the Kingdom of God and neither look to my left nor expect from my right. I know only the ending. I know that love counts, but fear the consequences of a love that lacks perfection. A love subject to loss. A love subject to separation. A love that lacks complete understanding. I enjoy not knowing how my provision will come, but only whom it will come from and that it will indeed arrive. There is no one dependent upon my provision and therefore no responsibility for me to explain how or where that will take place. How could I explain a system in which I believe and know only by faith and experience.

Philippians 3:8-11
I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, 9 and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11 in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

The first paragraph is what I felt in a dream I received about 4 years ago. In that dream I had three children. I believe I was given a glimpse of what it feels like to be a father. It was so amazing and so real. I told people about it for weeks, and I will never forget it. The responsibility and the attachment where so huge. It seems a world apart from where I am right now. I have a hard time rationalizing how my life can be both. I know there are still feelings and mentalities to be weeded out. Thinking on this makes me feel like a family is farther in my future that I care to admit or imagine. I long for a family, but even greater is my passion for fulfilling God's call on my life.

Lord, my God, show me my next step.