Relationships- January '07

I haven't written a blog in a long time... wow. I figured that I would just write on what has been on my heart. This is not so much specifically as of late as it has been generally for a LONG time now.
I think I will start by mentioning the BEST relationship that anyone could possibly form. I can tell you that this is true from my own experience, but I would like to note that you should not take my word for it. From my experience and from the truth of God's word: the best relationship you can form is that between you and Jesus Christ. No one has ever or will ever love you more (not even your girlfriend or your mom). He died for you. It is one thing to say that you would die for someone. It is another to actually do it(and profitably for us might I add). He died for you and me so that we can live FOREVER. Your girlfriend isn't going to be your girlfriend forever. Your mom will not be your mom forever. Sorry if this comes as a shock, but if you are married... your husband or wife will not be your husband or wife forever. Jesus accomplished something for us that has an eternal effect. If we give our lives to him and accpet him as our savior we WILL live FOREVER. He did this out of love for us. The least that we can do is accomplish something eternal for him. Otherwise we are really just serving own selfish desires. If it's not going to last then what good is it doing Jesus. Tell someone what Jesus has done for you so that they might know how to accept him as their savior and be a part of eternity. I mean... this life is SO short. What about the people you love? Don't you want them to be around longer than the 50 or 60 more years that you MIGHT have? Tell them about Jesus' love and pray for them so that they can experience Jesus' love too.
A friendship.
99.9% of the world today (this is my own statistic) underestimate what a true friendship is. There is SUCH a great capacity within a true friendship. People think that just because people hang out a lot and are close to each other that they should be dating or maybe even that their relationship apart from the label of "dating" is inappropriate. Given that there are some boundaries that should not be crossed, this is TOTALLY not the case. Being close to other people is ESSENTIAL in surviving todays world. The world is harsh. We have to stand up for each other and be there for each other. If I don't show you love, how are you going to know that I understand the struggles you are going through and WANT to help you through it. I may not have been there exactly, but I gauruntee that I have faced similar or proportionate struggles. It is important to have people in your life that you are going to be able to relate with that are not necessarily your girlfriend or boyfriend (as it is important not to force these things into our own timeline, but rather to allow God to reveal such things to us when He has it planned); the kind of people that are going to be able to comfort you, but will not try and take advantage of your situation. I would like to take this opportunity to let all of my friends know that this is how I feel about our friendship. If you are struggling you should know that you are not alone. Many people are. If you need someone to talk to, I would recommend that you first pray about it, but DEFINITELY if you need another person to talk to...come and talk to me. I can usually listen pretty well (despite my bad hearing, I really can listen). In summary, having close friends is a wonderful thing. Just because friends are close, it does NOT mean that they have to or should date. It is prefectly normal and RECOMMENDED that guys have close guy friends and girls have close girl friends.
First a friend.
This is my recommendation... I have witnessed a lot.
If you are considering dating someone based on how physically attractive they are... stomp on your toe and attribute the pain to your ignorance in how relationships work. If you are considering dating someone but do not know very much about them... maybe you are skipping a step. Let's take this back a step. What is the point of dating? Companionship? A feeling of emptiness? Hormonal fluctuations? Social acceptance? Negative. Let's tackle these one at a time. If you are seeking companionship I would recommend that you first look to Jesus (I will get to this in more depth a little later) and then to friends (not that close physically intimate companionship *that should wait* . If you are feeling an emptiness it is probably NOT because you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend. I can think of two reasons for this. 1 you are hungry...eat a sandwich. (if this doesn't fill you up... and it probably won't, then DO NOT EAT ANOTHER SANDWICH, instead try number 2) 2 you need to develop a closer relationship with Jesus (again, hold on for this one). Hormonal fluctuations... these are gunna happen unless you are a rarity and if you are...count your blessings! Having these fluctuations is normal, but it IS NOT an excuse to use people and it IS NOT an excuse to do whatever you FEEL like. We have to be accountable for our actions...and though it may not seem like it sometimes, we ARE held accountable for our actions and we WILL have consequences for our actions. Avoid putting yourself in bad situations where you may end up compromising your moral integrity(if you dont have this moral integrity you might want to look into that... the Holy Spirit helps a lot and if you know Jesus as your Savior then the Holy Spirit is living within you!). As for social acceptance... doing anything because you are trying to impress other people is probably NOT a good idea. Don't let any man(or woman) cause you to lose your prize. I can testify that it is not worth lowering yourself to try and make yourself look normal or average. We are not average. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. If someone calls you "gay" because you do not have a girlfriend or a boyfriend... then so what. Might it hurt your feelings? Maybe Will it kill you? Probably not! Are you better off for having suffered and standing true to what you believe rather than comprising and fitting in with sin and death? YES YES YES! You ARE better off! So, why then would we date? If dating is the route that you choose to take after many hours of prayer and listening to God, then dating will be your means furthering your relationship with someone whom God has shown you to be fitting as a companion in your life and ministry. This DOES NOT mean that just because you are dating someone right now, you need to marry them. We are human and we make mistakes... we misinterpret the Bible...we misinterpret what God is saying to us. When Gods speaks to us, He comfirms the things which He says in our lives again and again...not numbers or signs in the sky, but through His Word, through wise counsel, and through the church (not the building). Dating and becoming emotionally attached (and possibly physically attached) to numbers of people is NOT advantageous and hinders both your and their walks with God. If you really care about someone... be willing to wait to hear from God if it is something that he approves of. First be a friend... if nothing more comes of it then so what...if you have accpeted Jesus as your savior and are going to Heaven... you LITERALLY have an ETERNITY with that person whether or not you spend your lives together here. This life it so short that the amount of time you would spend together here is SO INSIGNIFICANT compared to what you do(ie. the things of eternal significance that you accomplish) in the ammount of time that you have here. Eternity HAS to be ENOUGH! A relationship with a TRUE friend is all you could EVER ask for. Anything more is a BLESSING from God. If you care about someone let them know. Don't push a dating relationship. Pray about your relationships and give it to God. I hope that you all find relationship that are full of meaning and support.
Back to the BEST!
Just like forming these relationships with others... you have to spend time with Jesus to form a relationship with him. This is not to say that because God is everywhere you are spending ALL your time with Him?!?! If you knew someone your whole life and walked past them 100 time per day and NEVER spoke to them you would not know them very well. Even if you heard things about them... you couldn't know whether it was all true or not if you did not spend time getting to know them. Spend time with Jesus. Talk to him!!! LISTEN to him! Yes!!! He talks back!!! It may not be the "voice from the clouds," but Jesus speaks to our hearts. It is not a matter of whether or not he is speaking to you. He is! It is a matter of how well you or if at all you are listening to him. Be still and listen to him. Spend time in the Bible (which is a great source of information about him by the way) praying and talking to him and listening to him. You like to hang out with your good friends right??? Well make Jesus your good friend and spend time with him. It will bring you a sense of companionship like NONE you have ever had before! It will get rid of that emptiness that you may have had and fill you with an unspeakable JOY. The joy of knowing Jesus well will make you BURSTING AT THE SEAMS with a passion to accomplish His Will for you! Try it.