By: Jim Pinckney
In the past few years I have come to a lot of conclusions about relationships and love. You may have seen some of them in other notes or status updates I have posted. I am always trying to refine my ideas and boil things down to the bare truth. I find that when the things I propose are based on scripture, they tend to hold true much better than if they are simply products of my reasoning.
One such product of my reasoning which I put forth a couple of years ago was that relationships are always moving in one direction or another. This is to say that if you feel led toward someone then you must pursue this person or else they will drift away from you. Is this true? Probably. Is this truth? Maybe not.
I'm sorry if that seemed confusing, but it is necessary in making my point. I believe the reason this proposition is true is because we, as a society, make it true. God leads us to people of both sexes for many reasons. The least of these reasons being a dating relationship. I say "the least" not because it is the least important, but rather because it is the least likely. Certainly God does not intend for us to date every person we come in contact with who intrigues us or strikes our fancy. We make the proposition true by distorting the truth.
We are so consumed by not letting the "right one" slip through our fingers that we feel the need to pursue every relationship put in our path as a dating relationship. We think, "I feel so close to (or in love with) this person that I can not pass up this opportunity." Truth: God wants us to feel close to and in love with our brothers and sisters in Christ! (Matthew 5:46-47, 1 John 3:10-11, Acts 2:44) Make no mistake that when I speak of "love," I am not referring to anything sexual. If you are looking for more on the subject of Love then I recommend you see my note "Love: A Commitment Forgotten."
God sends people into our lives for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes we are to be encouragement or council to them. Other times they are to be the same to us. Is it possible for us to be mature enough to handle a friendship with someone of the opposite sex? If you feel it is not possible for you to accomplish that right now then you have no business pursuing a more intimate relationship either. If you are not mature enough for a friendship with someone of the opposite sex then you should be working on your relationship with God instead of looking for a date or something more physical.
If you meet someone whom you pursue a friendship with and they begin to drift away from you because you do not initiate a "further" relationship then I assure you that person is not ready for that "further" relationship. I'm not saying that such things have never worked out in the past. God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28), but that doesn't mean that it's the best way. If you are seeking God's will for your life then you need to take heed of what He is saying to you and not just enter into things hoping for the best. God wants great things for your life. He has plans for you! Allow Him to shower you with all the blessings He has for you by following Him closely and seeking His face daily.
Develop friendships. God has a purpose for them in your life. Cherish the frienships God allows you, and nuture them with encouragement and blessing. I am sure they will bless you in return. Finding that your marriage partner is your friend could be amazing! What better a person to be with than someone whom you deeply know and trust and whose relationship with you has withstood time and trials?
Be careful next time you say "just friends." Friendship is meant to be a close and powerful relationship. Be thankful for your friends, and tell them that you are. Love is a powerful force. Do not leave it out.
